In recent years, the words “retard” and “retarded” have come to be used as a common insult. Many people use the phrase “That’s so retarded” to denigrate, insult and chide a person for a mistake or for doing something foolish. Consider how this sounds to a person or family member with a cognitive limitation.
I wonder how this will be recalled by the people casually using this offensive phrase (meant to be offensive) if they later become the parent of a child or have a family member with a cognitive developmental delay. This oft-heard phrase dismisses an entire group of people based on a characteristic over which they have no control. This is no different than eye color or skin color or ethnic background. If we believe that all people are entitled to dignity and value, then language used in this way is harmful to all of us.
Cognitive disabilities affect people of all ages, races and economic levels. Today, individuals with cognitive limitations are active participants in the educational, vocational, social and recreational aspects of our communities. There are many opportunities now for individuals to develop their abilities, discover their talents and realize their dreams. ...
Imagine hearing any other group (e.g., age, religion or ethnicity) being insulted in this manner and consider the outcry that would be heard. The change in the language is an opportunity for many of us to learn from and listen to the voices of our community members who have lived with the denigration felt when this term is used as an insult. When a person or group tells me a term used to describe them is offensive, if I wish to be in a respectful relationship with them, I must listen. It is not up to me, to dismiss their concern with a casual, “Oh, I don’t mean it to be insulting.” If it is insulting to the person, I must believe what they tell me and change my behavior.
Mark Twain said, “The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.” So we can use a new “r” word — respect. We can demonstrate respect for the contributions made by valued members of our community by no longer using “retarded” and celebrating with the governor’s removal of archaic language from the agencies that serve our members.
Kathy
McMahon-Klosterman
Oxford