The two women never could have imagined how their lives would change since that chance meeting. They fell in love, became one of Butler County’s first lesbian couples to marry, adopted a baby girl this year and are celebrating Pride month as a family.
Arnold, a 1997 Fenwick High School graduate, always wanted to marry and become a mom. She just never thought her dream would become reality.
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“Absolutely not,” she said while sitting in West Central Wine on Central Avenue before it opened one day last week. “At a certain point in your life you stop dreaming about those things. These are all things that I wanted, but I had pushed them out of my head.”
Before Kutzera, 40, co-owner of the West Central Wine, could answer, she had to care for their daughter who was born June 8, 2019 to a young mother from Middletown. Kutzera reached into a diaper bag and pulled out a stuffed animal. Leona Catherine Kutzera’s face lit up.
Kutzera and Arnold adopted Leona Catherine, named after her grandmother and great-grandmother, on April 16 during a ceremony at the Butler County Courthouse. Since it took place during the coronavirus pandemic, only four people could attend. The adoption was shown on Facebook Live, and Kutzera said more than 100 people watched.
Since then, the couple has received an outpouring of support from family and friends.
“The more people who love this baby the better,” Kutzera said.
Of course people have questions. They’re nosy that way. Who’s the mom and who’s the dad? That’s a popular one.
“I take out the trash if she doesn’t,” Kutzera said with a smile. “We’re wives.”
“We’re sleep deprived,” Arnold said. “The normal things like everyone else.”
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They understand life probably won’t be normal for Leona. The family lives in Madison Twp., a predominantly white Butler County community, and in four years, she will start school. There’s a high possibility Leona will be the only biracial student with two mothers in the district.
Their message to Leona?
“I hope it’s love,” Arnold said. “I hope she sees kindness, understanding.”
“I hope she’s proud to be whoever she is,” Kutzera said.
Ohio’s legalization of same-sex marriage on June 26, 2015 paved the way for Arnold and Kutzera to become adoptive parents. Before that legislation, only one of them could have adopted since their marriage wouldn’t have been recognized.
They remember after Leona was born and they were in the maternity unit with the birth mother and her medical staff. When the doctors started asking questions, the birth mother told them, “These are the moms. You need to talk to them.”
Kutzera said giving a baby up for adoption is “one of the hardest things to do,” but the birth mother handled the situation with “a lot of grace.”
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Since then they have shared photos and sent cards to the birth mother. They won’t stop Leona from having a relationship with her birth mother if she wants.
Middletown recently held a Black Lives Matter march downtown in response to George Floyd dying while in police custody last month in Minneapolis. Kutzera, Arnold and their daughter participated. They wanted to show their support for equal rights for all people.
“We know how it feels to be on the other end of that,” Arnold said of discrimination. “You can’t tell that we’re different by looking at our skin. We know how it feels.”
Arnold turned and smile at her daughter.
“The thought of her being looked down at or being arrested or something like that because she has the skin color that she has just makes my blood boil,” she said.
Kutzera said she attended a multicultural school in Hampton, Va. and she has been judged and the target of verbal abuse at Pride events. But, she said, those actions can’t compare to what blacks are facing today.
“I never once walked out the door and thought the police would kill me,” she said. “With all the racial tension and issues the gay community has their job to do too.”
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And older woman, originally from Germany, probably won’t forget the first time she met Arnold and Kutzera. The woman was a highly recommended seamstress and with their wedding fast approaching they needed their dresses altered.
They walked into the woman’s house in Farmersville both carrying a wedding dress. The woman asked if they were sisters. Then Kutzera tried on her wedding dress and the woman made the appropriate alterations.
Then she asked if they were getting married on the same day.
Kutzera smiled and said yes.
“I don’t understand,” the woman said.
“We are getting married to each other,” Kutzera said.
“We’re old,” the woman said walking into another room. “We’ll get used to it.”
That probably made Lisa French smile.
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